yesterday

I was sitting near our house sliding door.

Just looking outside.

Enjoying the view.

Tiba-tiba Titi datang.

Dengan baju cotton putih.

That is totally see-through.

No pants.

Just pampers.

Dancing to music that only she can hear.

The wind swaying her clothes.

Her fingers moving delicately.

The sound of her small feet tapping.

'Weh!! Titi can dance porn now!'

'I bet I know who teach her that (looking at Momo)' -Maryam.

Hehe.

Thank God she's only two.

Perhaps Abang Long will think twice now about coming to our place.

Paradise

'Or think that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, 'When (will come) the Help of Allah?' Yes! Certainly the help of Allah is near.' Al-Baqarah:214.

Just finished reading this ayaah Alhamdullilah and I cannot describe the calm and peace that Allah grants me by this one verse.

I just got back, say an hour ago from teaching Adam (7) and Daniel (5) to read Iqra' or the basic book to learn the Quraan.

Hehe. This is a new thing for me.

Even though I have enough things to juggle in my hands I find it quite hard to pass up any new opportunity and learning process.

So. Even though my time management is poor (trying inshaAllah) and my self management is haywire (trying hardd inshaAllah) I quite like to be impulsive and just go for it.

Mom always say 'are you not tired? why can't you just rest?' and 'ok..what now'.

Hehe. Of course I am tired. In fact after work the last thing I wanna do is go out again, drive madly and try to find my socks for the hundredth time in between.

But staying in comfort zone doesn't work for me.

It dulls me up.

Today the boys mummy hug me before I go back.

The way she said thank you.

The way the boys laugh at my silly joke.

Stroking Daniel's hair while he drinks.

Playing games afterwards.

Going back and smiling on my own, and thinking 'not bad, girl!'

hehehe.

and I was thinking of giving this up for a bit of sleep.

Asma' !

*a reminder post for me to jgn malas.

2 weeks late

siri 2-coming out soon.habis siri 3.saya janji nak melompat dan guling2.


i memang dah langgar matiline.

lots of last minute changes.

my own stubborness.

alhamdulillaah. other editors who are as dedicated.

its been a learning process.

today the printer has given its thumbs up.

but as usual. i can only tarik napas bila buku dah sampai nanti.

its a humbling experience, being an editor.

it reminds me of my many shortcomings.

that i cannot work alone to produce great things.

that i must give help, and learn to accept help.

on to the next book.

i love this :)

semua demam, pening, nangis, frustation, risau, nightmare, marah org lain (hehe-yg ni baad) rasanya worth it.

sebab saya kerja untuk Allah.

Yang Satu.

inshaAllah.

*picture copyright of Al-Ameen Serve.
www.ameenbooks.com.my

sunday

is hands down the best day ever.love hanging out with family.

parents are busy talking furniture, wall colour, katil, bla bla bla. personally, i just cant wait to pindah back to our house. that sense of familiarity is pretty much needed to keep me sane.

i mm is looking for my broadband. why cant they make a big bulky broadband that i cannot lose?

on the other hand i wouldn't buy it precisely because of that hahahaa.

i had a weird chicken wing and chocolate shake yesterday; at a cafe where the light hung so low; and you had to ask for tissue. pretty weird. inshaAllah i hope to get a camera soon to capture all this moments.

but then, any convo with a good friend is well worth the bad food.

inshaAllah i will be going to a fundraising dinner this evening, we'll see how it goes. if i get bored i'll just sneak out quietly- whispering to my mate in super pshycothic way ; im a superman really, and its time to save people. hahahaa i should try this.

ok lets get serious.

nah.

its Sunday.

thats not cool

knapa hari ni mcm gelabah?

too much coffee?

not enough sleep?

i find myself looking for my glasses.when im wearing it.

staring at the same page for ages. when it should take 4 mins to read.

not knowing what to eat.

sms ing friends and forgetting what i said.

makan telur rebus sambil edit buku. whaatt.

makan chocolate and then losing half of it. because desk is so messy. double whaattt.

friend asked what i did for mother's day 3 times. and i couldn't comprehend the question.

to top it all.

a msg from a friend.

'i am at secret recipe. early lunch. with a book. chocolate drink. piano music for background. alone.enjoying the me time.'

ok.

officially jealous.

i am gonna find a big tree. with perfect weather. wind blowing. makan yoghurt. letak coklat that i lost (wishful). a good book. silence. and me.

perfect.

if

you have to ask whether its love or not- its not.

you'll just- know.

no degree, master or phd required.

simple.

the best advice i've ever heard on love.

*cold feet. more training to conduct in half hour.

alhamdulillah

alhamdulillahi'alakullihal.

lately lebih banyak tenang.

rezeki lebih banyak melimpah.

ini juga adalah ujian.

ujian syukur itu- kadang lebih payah dari guris hati & air mata.

andai Allah tolehkan pandanganNya dari saya,

seluruh isi dunia pun tiada harganya.

maka.

saya harus terus berlari.

ke arahNya.

whatever it takes.

amat's baby

is due in 2 months.

very excited to meet best friend's baby.

inshaAllah i wanna be there when she's in labour.

well you know, in case Hafiz faints or something.

once I get the baby call.

going to pecut to sungai buloh's hospital.

perhaps doing the emergency run mcm dalam ER.

i don't why.

when Amat & Hafiz got married- I was nervous. Amat pulak yang super relax. macamlah saya yg nak kawin!

and now.

macamlah saya yang nak beranak.

well well well.

born GEDIK. bak kata Ifa. ada aku kesah!

poetry

reading it out loud.

contemplating.

laugh it out.

shed a tear.

dah lama tak jumpa poem that can move me.

dah lama tak baca poem.

rindu.

syok pulak

ada blog.

at least it records 1 part of my brains yang sememangnya messy ni.

oh.

saya sdg nak siapkan final make-up untuk buku yang akan diprint minggu ini.

saya sukakan final-final stage.

proofreading.

double checking.

all the hard work coming together slowly.

sambil2 itu.

antara perbualan yg buat saya senyum.

Ifa bawa perfume branded untuk dijual.

'akak sukalah perfume moksino (moschino) ni.' kata kak Lah.

'kak Noolie, saya nak pegi beli (nasik) ayam dara ni!'

'alah. ayam tu mesti tak dara sebenarnya.'

sambil2 itu.

kak miah beli perfume untuk laki dia.

saya cadangkan buat surprise kat dia, balut n letak bawah bantal. isn't a surprise sgt best? cannot wait to hear abg arif's reaction.

graphic designer saya;yg cakap saya agak mcm firaun bila deadline (huhu I suggested we skip lunch altogether and stay till midnight) hari ni tak ada.

saya godam komputer dia. buat index buku sendiri. curik2 blajar pasal layout. gila best.

sambil itu saya peek music file dia.

ada satu lagu 'suci dalam debu' by saleem. an old song. rock leleh punye. saya layan jugak. pergh.bajet suci (?)

eh eh. saya cakap dlm bahasa ibunda. tak pengsan kan :)

kadang2.

saya berhenti dan fikir.

cantiknya hidup ni.in all its flaw and simplicity.

Allahuakhbar.