note for lazy days

Thank you hasben for buying me a new set of 'The History of Islam' series 'so that I won't have anymore craving for it.' I kept holding back to buy it considering the rows of books I haven't got round to.

But Allah knows best, I managed to read the introduction yesterday and found a beautiful ayat that just rings true to me.

"And that man can have nothing but what he does." An-Najm: 53: 39

What a beautiful sentence.

And from all aspect of life, you will gain nothing but what you do.

Ever seen old couple holding hands and lovingly talk to each other? Than know that it's not a result of love or magic, it's a result of their hard work and commitment at the relationship.

Who is the most successful person you know? Know that he worked hard at it.

When is your happiest moment in life? All the trials you faced before that let you taste the sweetness of joy.

Just as your soul will only be carrying your own sin, know that your soul will only benefit from the good that one earns for himself.

Abu Hurayrah said that the Prophet Muhammad SAW said:

"When a person dies, his deeds will cease except in three cases: from a righteous son who invokes Allah for him, or an ongoing charity after his death, or knowledge that people benefit from."

Well one's son does not just pop out overnight and become righteous does he? Who takes care of him when he was unable to take care of himself? Who instill all the good morals and behaviors in him?

"...and one offspring are among what he has earned" 7:241.

Does the ongoing charity appear by itself or initiated by someone? Just as one walk on a sand and leave a trail of his footsteps, the deed is but a trace of one owns action.

'..We record that which they send before (them) and their traces.' 36:12

and lastly,

"Whoever invites to guidance, he will earn as much reward as those who follow him, without decreasing anything out of their own rewards." Muslim 4: 2060.

So when you are feeling lazy remember,

"and that man can have nothing but what he does."

whats next

we will be attending a special wedding shortly, these two people are matched by hasben! alhamdulillah. its funny remembering how my hasben kept sending sms to the groom to encourage him getting married, something like 'bestnya ada isteri boleh pegang tangan' etc!.

anyway the wedding day will probably mark a big change in anyone's life. its a huge turning point and how glad I am to have passed that stage, so that I can concentrate on a bigger thing to come which will make anyone's wedding day pale in comparison.

well, there will be another big day or days when one will give birth (and then again and again) and of course minus the fairy tales. *sigh. what a blessing a wedding is! all we think about is buying a beautiful dress, seeing our husband looking good, glancing at each other nervously, meeting family and friends. all NICE things. what about birth? well seeing the baby would be awesome, but the PAIN. and what freak me out the most is there will most likely be SCISSORS involved, and no it wont be used to cut your hair! argh! I'll just be in a state of denial of the things to come. but of course, the good news is if I die during childbirth I will get the rewards of a martyr.i still dont like the scissors! and for me there will be a huge possibility that hasben wont be next to me during all that gory stage because he is afraid of BLOOD. my big macho hasben who wont say 'see you soon' because its not manly enough for him is scared of blood! its doesnt make any sense! anyway in case you are wondering I am not pregnant yet!

going back to my point. what is the very special day that is bigger than any wedding day or other days after that?

DEATH.

What will it be like, when we gasp for that very final breath, will it be a gasp full of anticipation, to utter that 'lailahaillallah' ( if God wills ) or a gasp of anguish and regret?

Its a reality and the fact that it could happen any second, minute, day or year should make one busy preparing for that day.

The question is, am i preparing it at least as hard (and it should be much much much much harder) as I prepared for my wedding?

DEATH. don't forget!

you can be the happiest woman

and so the other other night I cried over a private matter (not everything should be shared online!) and well... I didn't want my mother in law to see my swollen eyes. So I put on lots of baby powder on my face which make my face look whiter than snow white.

So I went down to meet my hasben and he glanced at me over his plate, 'your eyes are sooo red. are you wearing powder to cover up? gee it just makes it worse. you wouldn't make a good a spy.' *laughing as always

me: 'what powder?' (quickly rubbing the powder off)

oh well, life is not always fun. but we do, we do have a choice as to how we want to react to situations.

its okay to cry, sometimes it makes you feel better, but to smile and laugh when the going gets tough makes you a better, stronger person.

hasben is recovering now, and I'm glad, Alhamdulillah!!! it has gotten into his head that making me jump is very funny, and I keep finding him jumping out from this wall and that door that I think a permanent heart attack will be part of my life now.

I did not know much about this guy when I proposed, and I know now Allah has given me big blessings by giving him as a hasben.

I am retyping a d'ua book to be printed.

Back to Work!

door & window?

"when one door closes, another will open. when a window breaks, it will be replaced."

thank you my long lost friend, for dropping this advice to me.

sometimes it gets a bit dark along the way, and we feel afraid to move forward.

we just gotta have faith we'll see the light soon.

and we keep going forward.

and when we do see the light, its the best feeling in the world.

proper greeting

a husband would expect a nice warm welcome from his wife when he returns from work.

wait for him at the door and smile and pay full attention to his needs. a cold drink? meals? a shower?

dont wait for him at the door with a list of complains waiting for him.

dont be busy washing, reading, sleeping, or relaxing and make he call for you.

dont smell bad

this stuff didnt matter so much before as I would pick him up from work and we'd enter the house together.

now that I am home earlier than him, have to be more alert.

our best self should be displayed in front of our spouses more than anyone else :D

I am so grateful to be married because I am pushed to improve myself every day.

womens rights

quite peculiar questions and comments are asked by muslim women nowadays. i have been reading and hearing them a lot that its starting to bother me.

'what's wrong if women cant cook?'
'why cant house chores be divided equally between husband and wife?'
'why is it okay for men to go home and goyang kaki while we have to slave away our nights with chores and entertaining the kids?'

and the complaints

'my hasben bla bla bla.'

fuh.

now let me ask you back,

'the burden of providing for the household has been shouldered on the man, if your husband doesnt ask you to help monetarily, what make you think you can complain about something you have chosen yourself?'

'keeping your husband happy is your job, and cooking, raising the kids and maintaining a peaceful house will make him happy. so why are you complaining about what will open your way to jannah?'

'if you want equal tasks, would you share his burden of protecting, providing, giving knowledge, leading the family, keeping up with the wife's tantrum and complaints and have a share of the sins his family commit if he doesn't advice them well?'

im not saying i dont complain, sometimes its hard to break the habit, but after i got married myself i realize how big a responsibility my husband have, and if he doesn't feel like helping me with the dishes i dont think its fair to feel any resentment towards him. it drive me crazy yes, each time he throws his wet towel everywhere, but hey, its no big deal.

dont let the satan get to you!

positive mind

Juggling my two days a week working days has been easy inshaAllah. it is organizing those non-working days that are most tricky. there are many distractions and goals that need to be reviewed. I sense that going to religious classes alone is not enough for my thorough understanding, and some quiet moments are needed to reflect and ponder on the vast knowledge that i am exposed to. what do one do when mountains of pearls are laid out in front of him? does he go crazy running here and there to enjoy all, or slowly, sifting through them with care and try to get to know each one closely? had he chose the first one, would he be able to look back at the pearls he looked at before with recognition and sense of familiarity, or would it still be a strange thing that needs new introduction? i think knowledge is like that, if its not understood and practiced, it wont sink in and we'll just get stuck at trying to learn and re-learn the same thing over and over again.

now talking about religion pun can be so sensitive, in fact yesterday i explained to a friend about wudu' not being nullified if a man accidentally brush up against you (we were talking about tawaf) and even between husband and wife, because the prophet saw would kiss his wife aishah rad before going to mosque. i received a, 'ahhh yes, that's one opinion. another opinion says...' one opinion? im talking- with authentic reference about the PROPHET MUHAMMAD saw here and it was dismissed as mere opinion among many. see the importance of knowledge here? see the importance of keeping Islam central in our daily life? and never mind at those who scoff and called you 'obsessed'. there are more pressing matters to attend to rather than listening to what people say about you..

moving on i have been looking at my sewing machine with shining eyes, and my feet are tingling to go at it (ahhh the worldly obsession) but i have to finish a long overdue work first, and i also have been given the green light to write some phonics graded reading books, which means my head will be swimming with words and stories for days. its like a stretched labor, so difficult to get out, yet i can never know whether it will come brimming with life or not. i have been through this process before, and i have yet to see any big impact. oh well. what can one do but keep going forward?

my hasben has been busy at work too, carrying more responsibilities and tasks. each night i look at him sleep and rasa kesian pulak, its rare to see him having full rest. but him being him, he carries on with his life with joy. each time i see him laugh i remind myself to enjoy life as it comes. it is wonderful after all.

of course, some have been dropping the 'baby' question perhaps too excitedly too. i mean of course i want a BABY. i mean look at their cute little socks. grrrr! anyway. inshaAllah...that sweet day will come.

haha. i gotta work.