womens rights

quite peculiar questions and comments are asked by muslim women nowadays. i have been reading and hearing them a lot that its starting to bother me.

'what's wrong if women cant cook?'
'why cant house chores be divided equally between husband and wife?'
'why is it okay for men to go home and goyang kaki while we have to slave away our nights with chores and entertaining the kids?'

and the complaints

'my hasben bla bla bla.'

fuh.

now let me ask you back,

'the burden of providing for the household has been shouldered on the man, if your husband doesnt ask you to help monetarily, what make you think you can complain about something you have chosen yourself?'

'keeping your husband happy is your job, and cooking, raising the kids and maintaining a peaceful house will make him happy. so why are you complaining about what will open your way to jannah?'

'if you want equal tasks, would you share his burden of protecting, providing, giving knowledge, leading the family, keeping up with the wife's tantrum and complaints and have a share of the sins his family commit if he doesn't advice them well?'

im not saying i dont complain, sometimes its hard to break the habit, but after i got married myself i realize how big a responsibility my husband have, and if he doesn't feel like helping me with the dishes i dont think its fair to feel any resentment towards him. it drive me crazy yes, each time he throws his wet towel everywhere, but hey, its no big deal.

dont let the satan get to you!

positive mind

Juggling my two days a week working days has been easy inshaAllah. it is organizing those non-working days that are most tricky. there are many distractions and goals that need to be reviewed. I sense that going to religious classes alone is not enough for my thorough understanding, and some quiet moments are needed to reflect and ponder on the vast knowledge that i am exposed to. what do one do when mountains of pearls are laid out in front of him? does he go crazy running here and there to enjoy all, or slowly, sifting through them with care and try to get to know each one closely? had he chose the first one, would he be able to look back at the pearls he looked at before with recognition and sense of familiarity, or would it still be a strange thing that needs new introduction? i think knowledge is like that, if its not understood and practiced, it wont sink in and we'll just get stuck at trying to learn and re-learn the same thing over and over again.

now talking about religion pun can be so sensitive, in fact yesterday i explained to a friend about wudu' not being nullified if a man accidentally brush up against you (we were talking about tawaf) and even between husband and wife, because the prophet saw would kiss his wife aishah rad before going to mosque. i received a, 'ahhh yes, that's one opinion. another opinion says...' one opinion? im talking- with authentic reference about the PROPHET MUHAMMAD saw here and it was dismissed as mere opinion among many. see the importance of knowledge here? see the importance of keeping Islam central in our daily life? and never mind at those who scoff and called you 'obsessed'. there are more pressing matters to attend to rather than listening to what people say about you..

moving on i have been looking at my sewing machine with shining eyes, and my feet are tingling to go at it (ahhh the worldly obsession) but i have to finish a long overdue work first, and i also have been given the green light to write some phonics graded reading books, which means my head will be swimming with words and stories for days. its like a stretched labor, so difficult to get out, yet i can never know whether it will come brimming with life or not. i have been through this process before, and i have yet to see any big impact. oh well. what can one do but keep going forward?

my hasben has been busy at work too, carrying more responsibilities and tasks. each night i look at him sleep and rasa kesian pulak, its rare to see him having full rest. but him being him, he carries on with his life with joy. each time i see him laugh i remind myself to enjoy life as it comes. it is wonderful after all.

of course, some have been dropping the 'baby' question perhaps too excitedly too. i mean of course i want a BABY. i mean look at their cute little socks. grrrr! anyway. inshaAllah...that sweet day will come.

haha. i gotta work.

3 months

Congratulations to us for passing the 3 months mark!

For me I have learnt that:

• he will always be messy
• when his eyes shine it doesn't mean he's falling in love with me, it means he's thinking of a plan to kacau me
  
• when he's angry its better for me to keep quiet
• and when I'm angry its better for me to keep quiet too, otherwise I will get THE LECTURE which may last up to one hour. berdarah telinga I tell you.
• he will always deny that he's tired until he FALL ASLEEP in which his last word will be, 'I'm not falling asleep, just closing my eyes, and I might not reply for a while but I'm NOT falling asleep.' and then he sleeps till morning.
• He will NEVER be romantic. Will pretend to be, and then he delivers the killer lines, "lets korek idung together" "you wanna hear me fart?" and yang sama waktu dengannya. Pasrah.

Alhamdulillahi ala kulli hal.

On another note altogether my life has turned another point where I will be working in the office for two days, and do some freelance jobs at home. This is something completely new, and I'm intrigued to see where it will lead me.

Of course, some have asked what will I be doing with all that free time? Firstly the concept of housewife duduk goyang kaki kat rumah is so fabricated. Secondly its totally an irrelevant question for Muslims, because we are not here to be involved in idle talk, or chasing a trivial pursuit. So whether I have a 'career' or not life still goes on. :D I hope my mother wouldn't worry too much..

Ok I got to go UIA and help hasben sell some books. Subhanallah. A place full of memories.

Arabic lesson 1

I recently came across a how to learn Arabic books for English speaking students, and the series looks pretty promising. Promising as in when I opened the first chapter I didn't feel like throwing the book away because it looks too hard. And so I asked my other half to join me in the quest of mastering this strange language that ironically, was the first language we heard when we were babies.

Last night the first lesson occurred.

me: Ok...our first word is 'hazaa' or this is.

him: hazaa lamb madghut! hazaa lamb kabsah! hazaa sishtawa! haza haza haza!

me: LAMB is english. now concentrate. ok 'dikun.' guess what is it? it sounds like 'kooo koooo koooo.'

him: owl! man, your owl sound is terrible! but its an owl nevertheless.next!

me: no, that was a rooster. koooo koooo koooooo!

him: a rooster? are you nuts?

and then we argued about the sounds of rooster and owl for ten minutes.

me: ok... haza mindilun (wave something around)

him:...... mmm tak faham.

me: ok (pretending to wipe my face)

him: oh i know i know! orang asli!

me: its a handkerchief!!! why would they teach orang asli in the first vocab group?

him: but you looked like you letak tepung kat muka. orang asli!

me: ok hazaa hazaa mindilun. HANDKERCHIEF.

him: naam naam naam. now you teach next (weird arabic accent coming)

me: hang on, why are you starting to sound like my foreign students?

him: so you get the culture yes! Arab arab! (weirder Arabic accent heard, and yes with hands waving)

me: ok...hiss..hissoo...hissan, with a 'sod'

him: gee... you sound italian. you italiano? where you come from? (Italian accent coming)

me: shut uppppp!!! ok qqqqiit qittun.

him: qqqqqiiitttunnn no?? you French I know from your accent!

and he laughed at me for 10 minutes and couldn't stop.

me: okayyyy..'ahaaza' is this. (showing a picture of key) 'ahaaza najmun?'

him: naam naam. la' la' la' hazal miftah.

me: miftahun.

him/ Arabic stranger: no no no.. i say AL so no sukun at the end. I Arab. I very clever. AL no sukun. naam? AL is here. sukun delete. you get? you understand?

me: naam weird Arabic guy...ok ahaaza babun?

him: naam naam naam! (shouting now very excited)

and then we learnt about the Arabic alphabets, the division of solar and lunar words.

him: solar sun!!!! lunar moon!!!

me: yes...hmm calm down. the solar uses the tip of the tongue like t, n,

hi: ttttt, nnnnnnn

and it goes on a bit like that. when I asked him to be my study partner I envisioned nights of serious studying and discussions...and now...I wonder what I've gotten myself into.

orange

Tomorrow is Chinese New Year and we have been eating oranges like mad. As I peel the skin slowly, taking in the smell and texture I feel a sense of amazement.

Looking at the sacs containing the juicy pulps, all are presented to us to beautifully. The 'see-through wrappers' are not only beautiful and delicate, they do a good job of preserving the freshness of the fruit. Yet, it easily tears once bitten to make eating easy.

The seeds are not that welcomed yet they carry a powerful reminder, that the fruit once originated from such small, humble beginning. Don't the story coincide with how we got here in the first place?

More amazingly, the pulps itself are like small wrappers, its skin so thin that its almost not there.

Time and time again I bit into this fruit, and occasionally, I stop and think, how precious!

And that's what life is all about.