positive mind

Juggling my two days a week working days has been easy inshaAllah. it is organizing those non-working days that are most tricky. there are many distractions and goals that need to be reviewed. I sense that going to religious classes alone is not enough for my thorough understanding, and some quiet moments are needed to reflect and ponder on the vast knowledge that i am exposed to. what do one do when mountains of pearls are laid out in front of him? does he go crazy running here and there to enjoy all, or slowly, sifting through them with care and try to get to know each one closely? had he chose the first one, would he be able to look back at the pearls he looked at before with recognition and sense of familiarity, or would it still be a strange thing that needs new introduction? i think knowledge is like that, if its not understood and practiced, it wont sink in and we'll just get stuck at trying to learn and re-learn the same thing over and over again.

now talking about religion pun can be so sensitive, in fact yesterday i explained to a friend about wudu' not being nullified if a man accidentally brush up against you (we were talking about tawaf) and even between husband and wife, because the prophet saw would kiss his wife aishah rad before going to mosque. i received a, 'ahhh yes, that's one opinion. another opinion says...' one opinion? im talking- with authentic reference about the PROPHET MUHAMMAD saw here and it was dismissed as mere opinion among many. see the importance of knowledge here? see the importance of keeping Islam central in our daily life? and never mind at those who scoff and called you 'obsessed'. there are more pressing matters to attend to rather than listening to what people say about you..

moving on i have been looking at my sewing machine with shining eyes, and my feet are tingling to go at it (ahhh the worldly obsession) but i have to finish a long overdue work first, and i also have been given the green light to write some phonics graded reading books, which means my head will be swimming with words and stories for days. its like a stretched labor, so difficult to get out, yet i can never know whether it will come brimming with life or not. i have been through this process before, and i have yet to see any big impact. oh well. what can one do but keep going forward?

my hasben has been busy at work too, carrying more responsibilities and tasks. each night i look at him sleep and rasa kesian pulak, its rare to see him having full rest. but him being him, he carries on with his life with joy. each time i see him laugh i remind myself to enjoy life as it comes. it is wonderful after all.

of course, some have been dropping the 'baby' question perhaps too excitedly too. i mean of course i want a BABY. i mean look at their cute little socks. grrrr! anyway. inshaAllah...that sweet day will come.

haha. i gotta work.